Saturday, February 23, 2013
Just me, myself, and I, Confessions Of a Lonely Girl.
I am warning you now, this is going to be a very whiny, out of character post for myself, but I need to vent. I am so incredibly lonely. I have friends, incredibly supportive friends, but they are ALL OVER the world, people I have met while in the Army, through my blog, through online spouse support groups, through various wounded warrior events, but no one here. No one who's couch I could go sit on, no one to call up and invite to lunch, or a movie, no one to engage in my crazy ideas, just me, myself, and I. I am not anti-social, in fact I am far from it, I try to help everyone I can, I talk to my neighbors, other parents at school, but I still seem to be left out of everything. I never thought as a child that I would have to deal with stuff like this, I always had friends, I just assumed as an adult it would be the same. My parents always had friends around, and maybe that is what is giving me a false idea of how things should be. I just don't understand what I am doing wrong. I thought the answer would be in the Wounded Warrior Wives support group I started facilitating, unfortunately it never works out for anyone to come. I thought the answer would be the pageants, and it still might be, but so far, I am still back where I started. I have a great husband, and kids, and we have fun together all the time, but I crave girlfriends. I am very active in the community, I volunteer A lot,and am called upon to help others, whether it is to find a resource, to help with this or that, but never just, "Lets get coffee," or "Want to grab lunch?" I have gone to Moms Night Outs, and play groups, and things seem to go great, we have fun, and then nothing. My family is far away, I miss them like crazy, I would give anything just to be able to go hang out with my brother, or my sister when I am bored.We haven't settled in to a church here yet, I know that will help. We have gone to various ones, for various lengths of time, and again, I volunteered myself, helped where I could, attended events, and still I didn't make friends. I know the problem is me, I know I only have myself to blame for this, but I am really starting to lose hope. Eh, I guess being my own best friend might not be so bad after all.